I'm Drowning

I've been feeling like I'm drowning lately. The house wasn't in order before I had Josie and it's just gotten worse since she was born. I feel like I can't get anything accomplished with the children around. I know Elder Ballard talked about enjoying the moment instead of focusing on getting it done, but I also know we need a house of order. Having an orderly home is a blessing for many reasons. If it's organized then it only takes a little maintenance every day instead of a major overhaul on the weekend. And when our home is clean we're quite content to stay at home instead of out in stores shopping. It also makes it really easy to find something when you're looking for it!

BUT, they babies are only little for a short time. Just look at the first year! *Did you know that no other creature on the Earth develops, changes, & advances as much as a human child does in the first year of their life? And I don't know how many mothers have told me childhood goes by so quickly.

And for some reason I feel like I have to do it all by myself. Ben cooks dinner every night, takes over with the kids when he gets home from work so I can have a break, willingly sends me away when I have cabin fever and keeps the kids, helps with the laundry, splits up the duties when we have to overhaul clean, and does all the yard work. Why do I feel like I have to do it all? Because I don't ask for help when I need it, and he doesn't do things the way I would do them. So really, it's my fault.

So I've been feeling defeated before I ever attempt to accomplish something because lately I feel like I haven't been able to accomplish anything. My Mom had the same problem when we were little and her advice was simple. Make a list of things you want to get done today and cross them off as you get it done. Even if it's something as simple as getting the mail, write it down. Then at the end of the day you can see that you actually have accomplished something and your husband can see it, too!!

Just because I got this wonderful advice doesn't mean I was following it. Well, I did for 2 or 3 days, but then one hectic morning and I forgot until just now. Feeling defeated and frustrated I explained my feelings to my husband who offered to give me a blessing. (I *love* having the priesthood in my home) I was reminded that the most important thing for me is to be a Mother. And that everything else is just getting in the way of that right now. I proceeded online and found 2 poems to remind of this and thought I'd post them for the other women in my life. I'm printing these up and hanging them in frames on the wall so it's a daily visual reminder of what's really important.

Excuse This Home

Some homes try to hide the fact
that children shelter there.

Ours boasts of it quite openly,
the signs are every where.

For smears are on the windows,
little smudges on the doors;

I should apologize I guess,
for the toys strewn on the floor.

But I sat down with the children;
we played and laughed and read,

And if the doorbell doesn't shine,
their eyes will shine instead.

For when at times I'm forced to choose
The one job or the other,

I want to be a homemaker
-but first I'll be a mother.

What Did I Do Today?

Today I left some dishes dirty; The bed got made around 3:30. The diapers soaked a little longer, The odor grew a little stronger. The crumbs I spilled the day before, Are staring at me from the floor. The fingerprints there on the wall, Will likely be there still next fall. The dirty streaks on those windowpanes Will still be there next time it rains. Shame on you, you sit and say, Just what did you do today?

I held a baby till she slept, I held a toddler while he wept. I played a game of hide and seek; I squeezed a toy so it would squeak. I pulled a wagon, sang a song, Taught a child right from wrong. What did I do this whole day through? Not much that shows, I guess that' s true. Unless you think that what I've done, Might be important to someone, With bright blue eyes and soft brown hair, If that is true...I've done my share.